Knee of Doom

Sorry to disappoint you, but no actual update today.  I know, I know, you’re all wondering why and cursing the universe/the baby jesus and/or the almighty Oprah for the lack of an update, but believe me, I have a really good reason.  Actually, I have two of them.

 

Reason 1 – I have the plague.  Well, okay…it’s not really the plague, it’s just a massive sinus infection, but it’s making me look like I have the plague and this is just not a good look for me.  Plus, my face hurts and that is making me extremely grumpy.  Also?  Making it impossible to actually touch my face, so putting on makeup was out of the question, so now I am ugly in addition to being miserable.

 

Reason 2 – My knee is angry at me.  Yes, this is the same knee that I have been putting off having surgery on for two years now.  It’s swollen all to shit, giving me this sort of “Why is that girl trying to smuggle a cauliflower in her pants” sort of look.  (okay, that sounded REALLY bad).  In addition to the very alarming swelling, there is some kind of crunching sound going on and it feels like there are Rice Krispies under the kneecap that are doing some horrible kind of snapping and crackling and popping thing that is very disturbing to me.  Oh yes, the knee is mightily pissed off and is showing me it’s displeasure in new and inventive ways.

 

The thing is…I have no fucking idea what I did to make it so angry.  I wasn’t doing anything all that strenuous last night, unless you count mocking Sarah Palin as strenuous.  Okay, on second thought, the mocking managed to reach levels that might be considered strenuous to your average level mocker, but I’m a professional here so that should not have done it.

 

All I know is that around 9-ish last night, I got up to go grab some water out of the fridge and holy freaking hell I almost passed the fuck out when I tried to stand up.  So, I did what any logical person would do and took two Benedryl and a muscle relaxer and figured that I’d just sleep until it stopped hurting.  At the rate this is going, I’m going to have to sleep until Christmas before the pain stops.

 

Thankfully, I am meeting the fabulous Sarah and Marissa for sushi and medicinal martini’s tonight, so that should help improve things greatly.  Unless of course, I get drunk and fall down, further injuring the already pissed off knee, which, if you know me at all, you realize is a fairly good possibility.

 

Updated to Add:  Back from the doctors and apparently I pissed the knee off worse than I thought.  Orthopedic Surgeon…Vicodin…Prescription Anti-Inflammatories.  The doctor actually said “Oh Shit” when she saw my knee.  Chances of knee surgery in the very near future look about 92.6%.

Fuck.