Dead to Me

Since I promised Nick that I would stop taking about the Zombie Apocalypse, I now have nothing to write about.  Okay, that’s not entirely true…I am just lazy today and inundated with a massive amount of work (apparently they were just taking it easy on me because I’m new).  So, rather than a proper entry that makes sense (and YES, I have written one of those…once…a long time ago) you get a random list of stuff that is now officially Dead to Me.  These items/places/people/whatever’s have totally pissed me off for one reason or another and they are now totally Dead to Me.

 

Plus, I get to use bullet points…which is good…because I am lazy.

 

• Crane’s Stationary (you bastards!!! You used to be all elegant and now you go and put shit with little ladybugs on it in your inventory).
• The fact that there is no damn Greek food in North Houston and I am sick of driving to Montrose.  All. The. Damn. Time.
• My husband’s apparent inability to run/empty the damn dishwasher.
• Wal-Mart and Macy’s putting up their CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!!  Hello?  It’s barely OCTOBER!  Let me at least get through the annual Thanksgiving drama-fest before you go and throw Christmas at me!
• Chanel – when the hell did you start letting CVS sell your perfume?  If you start letting them sell your makeup I will…um….I will totally have to buy it there since there’s a CVS less than a mile away from me, but I will be confused about it.
• Do I really need to once again express my sheer hatred for this never ending nonsense of calling anything that is put in a goddamned martini glass a martini?  No…there is no such thing as a fucking APPLE/BLUEBERRY/CHOCOLATE/SALMON MARTINI!  Martini’s are only to contain, gin/vodka, vermouth, a lemon twist or olive and THAT IS ALL.
• The weird Canadian guy in my office who mocks me for being an Ohio State Fan.  Seriously?  YOU’RE CANADIAN!
• Any fish tacos other than the ones that I make because they are vastly inferior.
• Having to very quickly turn down my iPod radio thingy whenever someone comes into my office because the last time my boss walked in, Trent Reznor told her that he wanted to fuck her like an animal.
• My bangs…holy hell do I need a trim…hmm…I have a couple of minutes; maybe I should call the nice people at Aveda now.
• The on-hold music when you call Aveda is Dead to Me.
• Grrr…need manicure also – dumb Aveda girl cannot figure out how to schedule two appointments for the same person even though they are totally different services.
• NO, Aveda girl, I don’t want to do my manicure at 10:00 and then come back at 1:00 for my haircut.
• No money with which to purchase Rise Against tickets.

 

Yes, this entry is pretty much bullshit, but I am suffering from a total lack of anything interesting enough to write about.  I’m thinking I should probably go out and do something extremely embarrassing sometime soon so that I have something to write about.

 

Oh…and disregard that whole thing about Nick not being able to empty/load the dishwasher, because he just sent me a picture of him doing exactly that  Damn psychic husband.