Random Update

I could probably write pages and pages and rehash everything that’s gone on in the last couple of days what with the holiday madness and all, but truth be told…I’m exhausted.  I am also extremely bitter about being at work today.  So, rather than an uber-fantastic, well thought out blog…you’re getting a bullet point list of what’s been going on since last weekend.  Please, don’t think I love you all any less, but really…I’m fucking tired….be grateful you’re getting anything at all.

Saturday:

• Braved the mall and actually finished my Christmas shopping.
• Got Nick the BEST. GIFT. EVER!  I am a Christmas shopping goddess
• Manicure/eyebrow wax done by a crazy Vietnamese man who kept insisting I needed Christmas decals glued onto my fingernails.  Um…not so much.
• Went grocery shopping, along with every other damn person in north Houston.  Experienced a kind of rage that I never realized I was even capable of.  Told three people in HEB to “Fuck Directly Off”.  One of these people was a lady old enough to be my grandmother….but she started it by talking smack first, I swear to god this is true.
• Wondered when grocery stores stopped carrying escarole.
• Worried for a second that something was seriously wrong with me when a nice lady asked me if I wanted any champagne (she was some kind of sales person giving out free samples) and I told her “No, thank you”.  What the fuck!?!?!  I have never said no to champagne…especially free champagne.
• Went back for the champagne
• Went to a somewhat torturous party at my in-law’s house.  Drank lots of wine in a vain attempt to drown out the voices in my head that were suggesting I set the house on fire.

Sunday:

• Drove to fucking Bellaire to go to Whole Foods in the search for escarole.  Didn’t find any escarole, but I did see many cute tattooed boys, so that was worth it.  How have I been unaware the Bellaire Whole Foods is a haven for cute tattooed boys?
• Went out to lunch with my mom, which was fun…ate much crawfish ettouffe
• Spent a hundred hours and many dollars at the salon getting my hair cut/colored, but it was worth it because I love the new color.
• Started cleaning my house for the party Nick decided we were having on Christmas Eve.

Monday:

• Went in to work for a couple of hours and actually got out of there much earlier than I had anticipated, which was a nice change.
• Ran a gazillion errands.
• Finished cleaning the house
• Started the annual 24 Hours of a Christmas Story Marathon
• Yelled at Nick a lot, but in my defense, I was grumpy and really freaking tired.
• Hung out with friends and drank copious amounts of wine
• Thanks to Roy and Michelle…we all drank copious amounts of hurricanes.
• Random guy who works with Nick spilled hurricane on my carpet…and Max.  The carpet now looks like a crime scene and Max is still stained slightly pink in places.
• Learned that my friends were not fucking with me and that Michelle’s dad really does read my blog…was slightly mortified by this but then I started drinking tequila and that put an immediate end to any embarrassment.
• Learned that I did not, in fact, get Nick the best present ever.  He hated it…I was crushed and somewhat pissed.  He asked if was supposed to lie and tell me he loved it….um…YES!!!
• Did not actually kill my father in law when he informed me that it was my god given duty to produce grandchildren within the next year.  (Side Note:  Why are people obsessed with my ability to procreate?  Stay the fuck out of my uterus, people.)

Tuesday:

• Woke up and wondered why the room was spinning.
• Realized I was still slightly drunk
• Debated on going back to sleep and decided to wake everyone up and demand presents instead.
• Opened presents….I am so spoiled…..cashmere sweaters, 5.0 surround sound systems, Sephoria gift cards, books, CD’s…yeay!!!
• Spent the remainder of the day alternating between sleeping and watching more of the Christmas Story Marathon.

All in all, it was a pretty good couple of days…although, I’m glad it’s over.  Well, except for the presents part.  I really think I should get presents at least once per week.  Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!!

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