Random Randomness

Since I haven’t had enough coffee to actually come up with a cohesive update and I’m suffering from a horrible case of holiday ennui, the best you people are going to get out of me is a bullet list of Random Observations.  However, in my defense, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, so here goes:

 

• In keeping with the whole holiday ennui thing, I need to state for the record that “Fairytale of New York“ by The Pogues has to be the best Christmas song of all time.  If you’ve never heard it…get thee to iTunes…immediately because any Christmas song that contains the words “Scumbag”, “Maggot”, and “Dirty old Whore” is simply brilliant.  Plus, it totally has that Irish pup feel to it that demands you drink Guinness while you’re listening to it, and anything that demands the consumption of Guinness is always fantastic.  Actually, while you’re at iTunes, you should just go ahead and download everything The Pogues have ever done.  You’ll thank me for this.

• From the files of Things that Can only Happen to Me:  We went to a reggae concert where I met a very strange Pakistani man who claimed his name was Frank (although, I seriously doubt this).  Frank decided to keep me amused between sets by singing “The Superbowl Shuffle” in his extremely heavy Pakistani accent.  I am still unsure why Frank decided to do this, but I did appreciate his efforts to keep me entertained.

 

• Leonard Cohen is going to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame….so is Madonna, but who cares about that.  The thing is, I’m not sure Leonard Cohen qualifies for this.  Now if there’s a someone who by the very virtue of listening to his recordings can manage to make you depressed enough to jump off a bridge Hall of Fame…Leonard definitely qualifies.  Not rag on Leonard Cohen or anything…I actually really do like his music….when I’m off my meds.

 

• Scientists have apparently found the energy source for the Northern Lights phenomenon.  All this time it’s been energy particles from the sun or some such shit and not the vast powers of the Chupacabra as I had originally thought.   That sucks seeing as how I’m a HUGE fan of the Chupacabra and want to leave live chickens in my backyard for him to feast on.  I would totally do this, but Nick swears that there’s some kind of neighborhood ordinance against keeping farm animals in your backyard.

 

• If one more fucking person attempts to make small talk with me by starting the conversation off with either “So, are you ready for the holidays yet? or “Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? I am going to scream!  First of all, it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever if I’m ready for the freaking Holidays or not…they’re coming regardless of my preparedness.  It’s not like I can stand in my driveway on the 23rd screaming “NO!  Not yet, Christmas…I’m not ready!!!  You can’t come until the 28th this year!”  Secondly, why the hell do you care if I’ve gotten my Christmas shopping done yet…if your one of the multitudes of idiots asking me this question there’s a good goddamn chance that I’m not buying you shit, so shut the hell up.

Yeah, I know…but believe me when I tell you that you’re fortunate that you even got this much by way of an update.  Apparently I’m going to need to drink MUCH more wine and fall into the Christmas tree or something just to have something interesting to write about.