Holy Fucking Ouch!!!

Sweet Screaming Jabeezus!  I have no idea what I did to my back but I have managed to fuck it up in such a way that I don’t think I will ever recover and am now doomed to go through life hunched over like some freak who should be living in a bell tower at Notre Dame. 

Last night I was sitting on my bed then I got up to go get some water and all of the sudden the mind searing pain shot up my back followed by much screaming and swearing.  I’m still trying to figure out exactly what the hell happened, because one minute I was fine and the next I was begging for serious narcotics. 

Oh…and for the record…whatever marketing genius came up with Excedrin Back Pain Relief and those little heating thingies that you stick to your back that are supposed to be like some kind of mobile heating pad can totally suck my ass because neither of these products work for shit.  Yeah….I’m a little bitter about wasting $23 on stuff that is no help whatsoever. 

At this point the only thing that is going to make me feel even remotely better is sweatpants, an actual heating pad and my whirlpool tub…obviously not all at once because I’m not a big fan of electrocution (at least not when it’s happening to me).  Oh yeah…and wine…much wine.