Untitled – For Lack of a Better Title

OUCH!  Yeah…the Fucking Marlon Regimen is back on, full freaking force, and pretty much every muscle in my body hurts.  Actually, I can’t bitch too much because it felt really good to be back in the gym.  No, not because I missed the creepy sweating frat boys or the weird grunting Chinese guy…I missed being in the gym because it’s the one damn place in the world where NO ONE BOTHERS ME!!! 

It really is kind of amazing.  I put on my iPod, go about my workout and I don’t have to talk to a single person for at least an hour.  No one asks me anything, no one tells me anything, my phone isn’t ringing, no one can email me…I can just shut my brain off.  I can’t tell you how much I love that.  Who would have thought that the key to my sanity is going to the gym…oh yeah…and it makes my ass look hot, so…ya know…BONUS! 

Honestly, things have been so crazy/busy/completely insane that I’m getting to that point where everything goes a little wonky and I kind of freak out.  It’s not as bad as that time I had the nervous breakdown and had to go on the Crazy Pills, and at least I’m getting to the point where I can start to recognize when it’s happing, but still…not fun.  

It’s strange.  I run and run and run and work and work and work and basically just go all out at a hundred miles an hour in every aspect of my life for weeks and it doesn’t seem to bother me and then all of the sudden I just, well, crash for lack of a better word.   

I have a friend who keeps telling me not to spread myself so thin and that this is why I freak out from time to time.  Yeah…that’s great in theory, but I truly don’t know how to do that.  I don’t know how to say “Sorry, no, I just don’t have time to do that”.  I don’t know how to not feel compelled to keep everything clean and organized.  I have no idea how not to check my work email at midnight because there might be something that needs to be handled right then and there. 

The concept of just sitting still and doing nothing is completely alien to me. I’m sure if I could figure out how to do that I would be a much calmer, less stressed out person.  I really don’t see that happening anytime in the future, though, so for the time being I’ll cherish that hour in the gym where no one talks to me, no one expects anything from me and I can just shut my brain off.