Vile Wretched Mood

Really?  There is not enough iced coffee in the world to make this day better.  Under normal circumstances if you throw a giant iced coffee at me, I’m just about guaranteed to be in a better mood.  Today?  Not so much. 

Here’s the thing.  I can’t tell you exactly why I’m having such a bad day. It’s not one specific thing; it’s the culmination of a bunch of little things.  

Since I’m not feeling especially creative or humorous today, I’ll just do a total bullshit blog and attempt to explain my vile mood in bullet points. 

 ·        It took me approximately eleventy billion hours to get to work today because apparently if there is even the tiniest drop of water on the highway, everyone in Houston must come to a grinding halt.

·        I have been told in no uncertain terms that people don’t so much find me intimidating as I ”Scare the Crap out of people”.  Nice.  Thanks for that.

·        My hair, that was all cute and flippy and perfectly layered yesterday has decided to make me look like Don King today.  Apparently, I have angered it somehow.

·        It’s exactly 4 degrees in my office and I’m being mocked for sitting at my desk wrapped up in a blanket.

·        I do not have enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished here at work, get to the gym, clean my damn house, go to the grocery store, actually cook something for dinner and generally live like a normal person.

·        I have a raging sinus infection which is making my eyes water and my nose bright red and generally making me look like some kind of crazy meth-head. 

Sorry about the lack of funnies today, but really, I’m just in no freaking mood to be funny or even mildly entertaining.  I promise to at least be somewhat amusing tomorrow.  

So…here’s the challenge internet land….I dare you to try and get me in a better mood….you will be graded on originality and promptness.