Todd & Khari Bored = NOT GOOD

 This is what happens when Todd and I get bored. 

 I do believe we have completely destroyed any chance of “Project Date Todd” ever working due to the below IM conversation.

Todd: that would be cool if the midgets were puking while screweing each other
Me: NOT EVEN!
Todd: with a horse watching
Me: Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Todd: lmfao
Todd: I am sure I can find you video of something similar
Todd:I may have to splice videos but I am sure I could find it
Me: I now need vodka to deal with the mental trauma.
Todd: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
Todd: Midgets drinking vodka while screweing
Todd:I’m goign to hell aren’t I?
Me: Sweet Screaming Monkeys!
Me: yes, you’re totally going to hell.
Todd: at least the midgets aren’t drinking and screweing on your bed
Todd:  I mean the next hotel you go to…possible it could have happened there…you would never even know.
Me: Oh Dear God!I think I’m scarred for life.
Todd: you are not going to be able to stay at a hotel again are you?
Me: do they let midgets in the Ritz?
Me:Or the Intercontinental?
Todd: as long as their bank account is larger than they are
Todd: I mean, Ver Troyer could afford to
Todd:*Vern
Me: OMG…I think that guy is like some kind of Uber Midget or something.
Me: He’s the Midget Overlord.
Todd: imagine if he waddled for president
Me: no.
Me:it’s too horrible to even joke about.
Me:like the apocolypse only worse.
Me: I totally don’t know how to spell apocolypse.
Todd: apoco-midget now….
Todd: the next great Kubrik film from the grave
Me:Oh my god….I just spewed Diet Coke when I read that.
Todd: It deals with the issues of a midget struggling in the war torn country of iraq and his transition to post war in a sunni arab nation
Todd: You’ve put entirely too much thought into this.
Me:I’m beginning to worry about you.
Todd: but because he is viewed as inferior by the mind numbig extremists, he eventually goes postal
Me: he IS inferior, so I’m not sure what he’s so damn upset about.
Todd: shooting everybody in the knee caps…he can’t shoot higher because the weight of the gun throws his short stature off balance and he shoots into the sky
Me: fucking hell.
Todd: after going on a rampage and hacking everybody off at the knees in the town he feels better
Me:I can’t think of anything else to say.
Me:Just fucking Hell.
Todd: years go by, the entire town is now in wheel chairs or gets around on skateboards…they are all amputees
Me: What the hell happened to you last night? 
Todd: a visitor comes to town, points out the irony of it all and calls the midget a psycho.
Me:  Is this a sudden chemical imbalance?
Todd:  he is still free because the police are scared to apprehend him
Me:well sure…who wants to deal with psycho midget?
Todd:  so the midget gins him down and then goes on a new shooting spree shooting everyone in the torso and head..he can do that now they are all his height without their legs
Me:  I would totally post this on my blog, but I don’t want to give midgets any ideas.
Me: or whoever the hell is reading my blog that has a midget fettish.
Todd:the movie comes to a close when he realizes that extremists in islam can go over the edge and realizes that the westerners with their “Christianity” may be on to something
Todd: he is guilt ridden
Todd: he prays to christ to be accepted
Todd:ad then shoots himself in the head
Todd: we should sooooo storyboard this and record it and post it on youtube
Me: where the fuck are we going to find a midget?
Me:  and how am I going to get through shooting this film without kicking he midget?
Todd:  don’t they have a midgets r us?
Todd: or a midget rental place?
Me: beats the shit out of me….but a guy I work with swears that there is a rentamidget.com or something like that out there.
Me: I’ve been too afraid to look.
Todd:*note: no midgets were actually harmed in the course of this conversation
Me: Only because no midgets were present.
Todd: we could have a sequel
Todd: the Lilliputians Strike Back
Me: No…We CANNOT have a sequal.
Me: Like the first film won’t be horrific enough.
Todd:this time an entire island of midgets that had been expelled from various countries form an aggressive military
Me:Guess my plan to round up all the midgets in the world and put them on an island is now officially shot to shit.
Todd:their goal, conquer and destroy all governments who isolated them and run the country in a midget totalitarian regime
Me:They’d totally come after me first.
Todd: coming to a theater near you in the Summer of 2017
Me: because I’m going to need at least 8 years of therapy before I can film this.

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