Please Submit All Requests for Interviews in Writing

While I know that many of you are awaiting the post regarding my brother-in-law’s “reception” last Saturday, you’re going to have to wait a little while longer because once I started to tell the story I realized how insane it sounded (even though it’s true).  This is going to call for photographic evidence and that is going to require me to learn how to work the digital camera. 

But I promise…it will be worth it. 

Let’s put it this way:  This reception was so freaking bad it made the baby jesus cry.  It also sent my in-laws into some kind of catatonic state whereby they just kept wandering around aimlessly and mumbling “where did we go wrong with him”.  It also forced me to make our friend Roy (who was the DJ) play the Violent Femmes just so I could see the look of confusion on the faces of “the bride” who is strictly a member of the Motley Crue and Journey listening crowd. 

In other equally as insane news…guess what I did on Monday?  I gave an interview to US News & Word Report.  Yes… I am a blogging rockstar who is now in high demand by national news publications.  Okay…not really, but it sounded good. 

I received an email from a reported that had stumbled across my blog and wanted to interview me, so of course I said yes.  I mean, what better opportunity to pimp Project Date Todd?  I would love to tell you all what she asked and about my oh-so-witty responses, but honestly…she called me in the middle of a work crisis and I really have no recollection of what the hell I told her.  I’m sure I probably sounded like a bumbling idiot rather than the amazingly intelligent and sophisticated person that I am (are you buying this?), but I was (as usual) trying to do too damn many thing at once. 

Let’s just hope none of my responses were anything like “I blame Mormons and the Chupacabra for the color yellow and the smell of onions” or “I would like to respond to that, but I’m afraid of albino midgets” or even “I can’t comment because when they finally do take over, I don’t want to be the one who has angered our new alien overlords” because…ya know…that would be bad. 

The funny thing is…I always thought the first time anyone asked me to give an interview it would be for one of those publications where the headline is something like “Half Boy Half Girl Makes Self Pregnant”. 

Yes, I am slightly disappointed that this was not the case.