The Shoes!! The Pain!!!

For my first entry, I was going to come up with the most remarkable, intelligent, witty entry in the history of blogging. No, really…I was…. that is until the shoe problem.

You see the Devil does not, in fact, wear Prada. She wears these:

Yes…I was defeated by a pair of shoes. Oh sure, they’re cute. They’ve also managed to drain the entire blood supply from my brain directly to my feet.

Now, less you think I’m some sort of shoe wimp, let me assure you that under normal circumstances I zip about the streets of Houston a la Carrie Bradshaw in high heeled, pointy shoes on a daily basis. I am not happy unless my shoes make me damn close to six feet tall. I have friends who constantly marvel at my ability to walk in shoes that would scare drag queens, goddamnit! Granted, I also have a reputation amongst said friend for falling off of my shoes while drunk, but that’s a whole other story.

However, had these shoes been around during the Inquisition, believe me they would have gotten more people to confess to witchcraft than any amount of branding or thumb screw usage (feel free to insert any Monty Python, ‘No one expects the Spanish Inquisition’ jokes here).

So, I log in with the intention of creating the most fantabulous first entry in history. I look at the blank page and all I can think of is damn…my feet hurt. So here it is, my completely lackluster first entry, doing nothing but bitching that my feet hurt. I think the only way to remedy this is to go and visit a very good friend of mine, Tito (he makes Vodka) and attempt this again tomorrow.